Today a trusted friend informed me that 1) I send mixed messages and 2) people pleasing , approval seeking has to go, be broken off once and for all….which will end the mixed messages. Brilliant. So we did.
Another trusted friend reminded me of several posts on this very site. about acceleration, awkward moments, head shaking. A diamond in the rough I keep setting myself up to be. A Jewel of God I am really, prepared by Him to be launched or put on a balcony, whatever you do with gems. Residue? Some. Get rid of it. Brilliant.
Truth is these stories speak my heart …which until now, I lay out then pull back or cover up lest it be seen as too much, misunderstood, rejected, not enough. Truth is all those things happen no matter. Words that should speak truth suddenly turn ambiguous lest they or I seem foolish. In doing so, that ole desire for approval wins out over God’s Voice saying be still Child, I have a plan.
Truth is that the folks who hear my heart do, It is a gift, to which they respond. Knowing the Truth in the words and the message. Small gifts. Gifts shared. Patience, Goodness, Kindness. To them I respond. Rightly.
Truth is there are folks who don’t . To them I might react. The problem with trying to explain things (esp when there is no need,) is that it sends mixed messages to someone and impacts everyone. ‘Collateral damage’. Not so brilliant.
Speaking to many women tis true. (IS 61.) I speak for myself too. The truth about my heart, hopes, revelations and restoration. I will enjoy the journey and gifts along the way. There is no longer embarrassment, guilt or shame of my story, dreams, hopes, Heart..Gifts.
God has released me from a season of Refiner’s Fire . Every last thing for 6 months all across the Game of Life Board that could be stretched or singed (or scorched!) was. A season of lessons for Resting in God’s plan. Peace. Fruit. Gifts. Blessings in Disguise. Acceleration.
Now a new season of stepping out into freedom~ feels wonderful. Out of the cage into the new season. For just a moment Friday I climbed back in to that cage and slammed the door ; afraid I had messed up. Truth is the messing up came when I inadvertently stomped on a gift of connection, by foolishly reacting to a perceived judgment by someone else. Brokenhearted that I did both.
Father God I ask you to help me walk in t he Gift of Freedom you have so graciously given. To hold onto the authority and uprightness that comes with being your chosen child. To be still when I want to react, knowing you are on it, To be still and enjoy every little Gift along the journey. To be still , recognize and rightly respond to every heart you bring to my Life . Amen.
Being Still In the Midst of Restoration and Open Doors~ A Gift