Room for Cream~One Mother’s Journey

by Oregon Mom, Judy Fleming Zifka used with permission “How do Mom’s do it? When I was in my 20’s I was afraid of becoming a mother because it seemed like so much responsibility! I didn’t think I could do it. I had my first child at the age of 34. I did all the things I thought a mother was  supposed to do — bathing, feeding, getting up in the middle of the night, and staying home instead of going to work. It was a big change for me and there were… times in that first year that I didn’t know if I could do it.
I had my second child at the age of 37. By the time I hit 40, I wasn’t thinking about whether I could do it any more. I was thinking that I had to do whatever needed to be done. For the next 10 years I did whatever I could for my children, and some of the things I had to do were very hard. I don’t remember worrying about whether I could do it. I only knew I had to do it.By the time I turned 50 I was used to doing whatever needed to be done. When it became clear that my second child needed more than I could give and needed to be placed at Providence , it was the saddest thing I have ever experienced. I didn’t want to stop being her mother. I felt like I had failed her. I wanted to keep doing whatever needed to be done, and others had to force me to let her go. I kept saying “I can do it! Please! I can do it!” But I couldn’t.Now I live alone and I see my children only occasionally. My job now is to take care of myself instead of taking care of my children. It feels like a lot of responsibility and sometimes I wonder if I can do it.

I look at young mothers and see how much energy they give to their children and I wonder “How do they do it?” When I look back at what I have done as a mother, I wonder “How did I do it?”

The only time I didn’t wonder how I could do it was when I was actually doing it. Thank you, my children, for proving to me that I could do it.”

by Judy Fleming Zifka used with permission
Judy’s daughter Andrea went from Bend Oregon to Portland Oregon, Providence Children’s Medical Center.. She had  a lovely home and day spa home business right up the street from my own home.
She finds herself in that place so many of us ,thankfully, eventually  do. Learning about time for ourselves. Thank you Judy for saying it so well and sharing your heart. The circumstances may be different but the hearts are alike. ♥♥
Until next time, finding time to tackle the job of self care. How about you? We really want to know~~~


  1. Beautiful illustration of a Mother’s heart. Thank you Shandra and Judy for sharing ” One Mother’s Journey”. And it is so true that while we are in the midst of raising our children we step up to the plate and do it, and when we “mature” we wonder ” how did we do it”? Blessings to you both! Pam Mosher


  2. i think the hardest thing for most people ( especially woman) is to take care of ourselves. i dont know what is going on exactly in your life, but getting to know yourself will cause tears of sadness and JOY, but for sure it will be the greatest journey you will ever go through. when u stop having the energy anymore to run around like before, sometimes thats gods message for you telling you “sit down and u need to figure out somethings”

    thank you so much for commenting, it was my first comment ever!



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