This season is so busy for many of us. It can get hectic, crazy and out of control in no time if we allow.
Just last week I felt the familiar push to cut things. Sometimes necessary, but I knew there was one thing I had to do. Signing out from work, I’d planned my lunch time around this monthly gathering, even though it was only 9:3o on this chilly Friday morning. A hop, skip jump from my office downtown the drive to Deschutes River Woods I always find peaceful. I’d never met this group of writers, save one. Walking up the gravel path the voice rose up taunting “who do you think you are? no one wants to hear your story.?”
Knocking on the trailer door… in the silence of waiting…Louder, one last time, almost a s-c-r-e-a-m – “YOU HAVE NO VOICE”
The prowling lion does such an immaculate job at convincing us we are alone. – Sarah Knepper
Knocking again…again…ready to turn …to walk away when smiling Lisa appeared. Hot tea, a warm welcome we sat and began.
Yvonne is working on a World War 2 novel and has many stories published including in “Chicken Soup”, Juanita has a beautiful book of Hope already published. Lisa edited and proofed for Multnomah Publishers. Me? Well. I blog. A book?um…sure….one completed in a journey 3 years ago. Um published ? No. .a new one in the works…on my laptop…in pieces…in raw form.
Thinking that so far no “Me too” moments, Lord! in case you haven’t noticed. Why am I here?
As most women who want to get along do, we continued sharing, looking for common ground. I could sense …something…Listening with intent discernment. There it was. The D word. Her parents had divorced. Her life had been confusing. She had written, 36 years later, a Thank you to the attorney who had skilfully and compassionately handled her parent’s divorce. Who had always pointed back to what would be best for the children.
Well, That’s a start . But not really ‘common’. Why am I here? Lord . Time had passed. Time to go. “Tell them” He Whispered. Explaining why I couldn’t take any more time off work that I really did have to run.”Tell them” He Whispered. Clearing up my parents’ home where they had lived for over 40 years. An emotional roller coaster of mixed memories. “I just want to get this done” Juanita and Yvonne looked empathetic and pained. “Tell them: He Whispered. I began- ‘My dad as I was growing up, was an arrogant, brilliant, very self-serving man.” “Memories of this time are very hurtful & not at all fond, but God is using it to reveal and heal.” Silently I sat. Emotionally spent in the telling. Juanita , with tears in her eyes said gently “He sounds much like my dad”
“Tell them” He whispered.
The little girl recalls the last few times she remembers laughter in that house. The last time her parents laughing..together…her very young brother jumping in. Then. The darkness overcoming us all. Leaving it all behind, as soon as she legally could. But. Not. Really.
The Grown Woman cleaning out a drawer in which she found 20 AA sobriety coins (minus the 1 he always kept close by in his pocket) and a business card. His card. Wayne R White PHD. (really!? thought the indignant little girl. REALLY!? This is what you wanted me to see Lord!? More of his accolades? Really?!)
Look again… Turning it over the Woman Child saw simply, humbly..Friend of Bill W. and she cried -that little girl & the WomanChild. Thankful .
Yvonne, to my right, eyes about to run over, “I wondered if you knew my first husband was an alcoholic?”
to be continued…
“God does not want us silenced and put in a corner, we are his daughters. He loves us and wants nothing more than for us to live a fulfilled life.” Jo Ann Fore
“A gathering of women, in a safe place, cutting their place in this world, in spite of pain and loss, in spite of broken dreams and unmet expectations, and most of all, in spite of trepidation and fear. Take. Courage.” Gay Idle
Author and Life Coach Jo Ann Fore knows all about having her voice silenced. She has walked alongside hurting women too, and has helped them not only find their “voices” but live life unmasked. Her latest book, When A Woman Finds Her Voice is full of stories of hope. Stories of brave women learning how to use their voices for the first time. A funny things happens when we find our voices: the masks fall off. We no longer need them.
This is the final blog link up to the book launch. It is well worth the read. To purchase Jo Ann’s book, click HERE.
Ready to join the online book study? Head over here to sign up!
Please hop over to the link up (click the book cover image below) and join your Voice. You never know who might need to hear your Me too! story. And who knows, the wound you heal may just be your own. Shandra
Until next time, Shandra reminding you~