Today’s a VSD (very special day) in case you haven’t heard. December 9? Yes! A date that changed the course of a family and future Generations. Its the birthday of Wayne R White, Sr.
What’s that? O!! you thought it was October, 21 1936? Well Yes technically that’s is the Date of His Birth into this World. The birthday card is right here to prove it. The last one I never got to mail.
1936 – 2013
Wayne Rodgers White, 76, of Monmouth and Mineola, Texas, died Sept. 12 in Mineola of a sudden heart attack.
Contributions are suggested to a favorite charity, Central Baptist in Monmouth or First Baptist in Mineola, Texas.
B-U-T, December 9, was his real birthday. At least the Date HE recognized. Sit back . I’ll briefly explain.
No one starts out or wakes up one morning thinking “today i’ll become an alcoholic” No One. So how does it happen? One little sip as young boy, a college party here, there. He was hooked. And not just on alcohol. No one goes out planning to spend all the rent or grocery money playing cards. Gambling. Hooked. A peek here or there. Pornography. Hooked.
No one starts out there. How does it happen? Bills here. Children there. Not a cute carefree package for either parent. Pressures of Life, Career, Family, Status. Oh them? Parents? No. At times rocky but they chose to stay together. 55 years. They came to an understanding and lived a happier much more content life the past 10 years.
I’m thankful my Dad and I had many, many conversations around the issues above. Not always gentle or understanding conversations. He expressed shame, remorse and sorrow for wasted years and broken promises and dreams. Outbursts of anger and resentment that I couldn’t just get over it. (Please understand we didn’t dwell here. I’m simply bringing you up to speed) The Little Girl’s resentments, sense of loss had s-l-o-w-l-y healed. Her boundaries, though, remained clear and strong. The Grown Woman? She often felt a mixture of pity, anger, offense and bewilderment that these were still struggles for a Grown Man. A Professor. A Scholar. A Christian. Her Dad. We came to a place of tolerance of one another. We knew our limits. We knew what was off limits. Thankful.
Each day he rose and chose to live a Life that tried to be the best he could . To overcome the challenges he faced. Some days he was successful. Some days not so much. The one thing he always overcame was drinking. Today. December 9, 1991. Sobriety Ruled. Well Played Dear Ole Dad.
Twenty-five or so years (and then 8 years ago again) a vision I had of myself at my earthly father’s feet. He in a wheel chair I cleaning his nails, caring for his bare feet. At the time my response? “Never happening, Lord.” Thankful. That my Dad didn’t end up lingering (he would have despised that!)
Thankful. That in the past 10 years with The Holy Spirit working overtime in both of us I would have graciously kneeled at, and cared for, my earthly fathers wounded feet.
The brokenness, resentments, bitterness, estrangement that threatened to wipe away a Generation (or more)? Healing. Thankful.
While I never called Wayne R White the endearing name of ‘daddy’ after a certain point in our relationship. I can now. Thankful.
Next time? Oh yes I’ll tell you more about the immediate one day journey that led up to Dec. 9, 1991. (You can read the prequel here)~~~
If you or anyone you know is in need of support please contact for resources. Your loved one’s alcoholism AND sobriety changes everything. YOU need support~~~there’s even a laundry list! Check it out~