Shandra Lee. With Heart Wide Open. A Miracle In The Making.

p3 Perhaps it had nothing to do with us

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“Patty*” and I chatted. The similarities between her life and mine were truly amazing. The similarities –and differences –between her life and my Mother’s? Extraordinary. Two women, two families, two very different decisions. Thirty years ago feeling they had few options two Woman chose Two Paths.

“Patty” had married, had 4 children lived the Life she thought she was supposed to…then divorced her husband…30 years ago. At a time when Society was definitely against Divorce, she chose to Live but to do so meant she left a marriage Life where she would have surely died.

My mom had married, had two children , separated several times, filed for Divorce . At some point decided to stay. Two Women, Two paths. So very Different.

During our conversation “Patty” said something that helped me considerably and perhaps you – She said “Perhaps the men we  selected were not able to keep Vows. Perhaps the men we married didn’t have any intentions of keeping commitments—or perhaps they didn’t know how.”

Perhaps it had nothing to do with us.

Like me, “Patty” and my mother were pressured by “The Church” to ‘work it out’. My own  mother and numerous Christian friends & acquaintances said to me “Get back in there and work it out”.

When the White Picket fence amidst the storms of Life begins to tilt and discolor , it surely must make everyone uncomfortable. Even those with their own tottering picket fences…or especially those?

An easy fix! Surely! The onlookers say. Please do it for the Children.

And we try.

The facade we so carefulyl craft to look normal, to fit in, to hide the weakening foundation & growing separations. The drifts piling high. We work harder, faster and more furious to “fix it”. A Marriage. A Wayward Child or Sibling. An alcoholic , abusive, manipulative,  neglectful  Spouse or parent.

This season of Death and dying in my own Circles. So many I’ve watched over the years. Paths crossing again and again. What makes one family turn to The Light? Loving, respected, balanced?  Another embrace Darkness?…or at least chosing not to fight it.

Letting go and moving on- of facing the hard stuff of Family Life – loving the Persons -hating the Sin.

The Generations.of.Sin.

Do they even Know?

Ended Now.

With 3 Nails. King’s Road. Two Little Boys. One Hospital Bed. And No Choice.

Next time the turning point…One Two Buckle My Shoe


All rights reserved, February 2014.

(Patty*Not her real name)


linking with Blog Hop~~~check out the inspiring stories of God’s Mercy and Grace. You’ll be glad you did~~~


6 Replies to “p3 Perhaps it had nothing to do with us”

  1. I have to feel this way. But I may blame my own choices. My first one, I was with for four years, ages 18-22, before marrying. I am not sure I knew what to look for then. But I have a second brief marriage, a longer Christian marriage for the third time around, but he let me down, he quit. I guess some would say it is both our faults. (13 years as the longest.) I take my blessings and love from my 3 kids, 6 grandkids and hope to find a partner. I like not blaming anyone. That is best, but I did tell my parents they “made it look so easy!” they were together until my dad died, 44 years! Love, Robin

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You raise some difficult topics. It’s real life, your calling. I’ve been the selfish person, still tend to, but the grace of God keeps me in the fight to be like Him and loving by the assent of my will as given to me by my Father. That’s true love…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Life isn’t always easy, and those “perfect marriages,” may not be as great as those who view them think. Love, them and hate the sin – yes. And for some even after they are forgiven, can’t be lived with anymore. I know of some who found it very difficult to leave, but it was the best decision for them. Others who stayed, were blessed with change for the better. It is difficult to look ahead and predict the future, only to ask God what should I do for today. Thank you for sharing with us here at ‘Tell Me a Story.”

    Liked by 1 person

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