Shandra Lee. With Heart Wide Open. A Miracle In The Making.

Epilogue- p 7 Oh! That Explains It

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Let me begin this Finale’ by saying both my parents were brilliant people. Artistic, quick-witted, creative, musical, athletic, go-getters. (My mother was the first female on the shooting team -“Expert Marksman”- at a well-known Texas College…way back before it was cool or popular or PC to be the first woman at anything)

If I were you & I’d been reading these posts I’d be saying. What? Really? That is, IF I were still reading. How can this be?  OR if you or someone you know has lived in the world created by drugs, alcohol -other addictions,depressions or mental illness you’re saying “yep” 

In my youth I wondered if we didn’t matter enough for anyone to step in to help. Then as the years rolled on I realized this was Normal it would never end and no. No one cared. But what I discovered was no one knew. Way BIG difference.

The lengths families go to to teach one another the Dance of Dysfunction,. To hide the illness buried in shame, guilt, anger and self-condemnation. A perpetual spinning of people, emotions and Life. My publicly esteemed revered Father was a Professor for over 30 years. He was a brilliant, successful, sought -after, popular Prof.

The young Prof in his Oregon College of Education Social Science Office-Newspaper Interview-2/12/1978
The young Prof in his Oregon College of Education Social Science Office-Newspaper Interview-2/12/1978

In the 60s, 70s, 80s cocktail-hour was the norm. He drank constantly. Eventually wanted to stop. Would for a while, then the voices would start calling. The emotional pain would be too great. He’d start again. The Dance of this Family becomes distinct. Anyone who knows, recognizes another. Codependent. Enmeshed. Anyone?

When my dad was well enough to have visitors the first thing I asked him was what he remembered . Amazed, as he told the story of which I recorded a bit from my perspective in p6 Three Nails, King’s Road, One Hospital Bed, And No Choice .   His words were strong and full of conviction as he told his recollection of that day. As we got in the car  to Serenity Lane he could feel the war raging within him. The very hounds of Hell were after him. He couldn’t stop them. Satan was at his door. Calling his name. He wept for lost time. He cried that day, 22 years ago,  out of fear but mostly he cried out of regret. He believed he was going to die.  Then he saw we were driving on King’s Road  . God was speaking to Wayne R White Sr through the fog of decades of drink, months of misuse of Antabuse , malnutrition, narcissism and a life long ‘anti organized Religion’  attitude. God was reaching out.

I asked him if he remembered picking something up from the carpet in the Serenity Lane facility? He reached over to his hospital tray, picked something up…opening his hands there in his palm were 3 Nails….which just happened to lie waiting in a dark brown carpet for him to find….


At every turn that very day my dad was being fought over by Heaven and Hell. He couldn’t speak- he couldn’t tell anyone about what was happening- he could understand that at every turn, Christ the King was there. Never letting him go. The sacrifice of such a Great Love left him in tears of loss and gratitude.  ” When we had pulled into Good Samaritan hospital” he said he “knew it would eventually be ok. God was good. I was not- but Christ prevailed.”

Friends there is so much more. For now it’s enough that the journey has not been easy for either of my parents. Nor for any of our family. Changing your life is never easy. Facing your own private demons? Painful. Worth it.

Facing the Hounds of Hell? Deadly with out Christ the One True King .

This story is TRUE. Everything happened as told (and much yet untold) Everything. If there’s only one thing you take from this snapshot  what would it be?


Years later we would reminisce about that day and the Signs God in His Glory , Goodness and Mercy chose to provide. We often asked my dad to write down that amazing day  in his own words. Alas, He never got around to it. And that’s ok. It was HIS story.

But he did change the course of his future. That day he turned fully to Christ, repenting, accepting, Receiving and Believing. How about you? Will you get around to it? How about now? Ask Him. He’s right here. Receive.

A Closer Look at the Gates of Hell

Thoughts on the Road to Emmaus

The Case for Christ

From Atheism to Christianity: a Personal Journey –

Letters from a Skeptic

Until next time, Shandra…What are you waiting for?

*all rights reserved, December 2013*
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6 Replies to “Epilogue- p 7 Oh! That Explains It”

  1. Thank you Shandra for your openness. Sharing the signs of our Lord being faithful. He will never leave us or forsake us. He is in our presence at all times. And later in life we open that book of the past and see he is faithful and when we seek him in our troubles he ” Is the great I AM.”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Awesome story… Our Father is the Creator of all things, including the happy ending. I knew it would be. It’s a great story of the love and redemption for all of us that are flawed and in need of our Father’s grace.

    Blessings to you, sister. Exceedingly well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Friend Karen,
    I’ve been thinking over your very kind comments, as well as, the interactions we’ve shared via our blogs & twitter.

    You’ve been open & honest, as well, in sharing your own ‘Dance’. For either of us to say ‘no sweat’ would be a lie. It has been hard to forgive, to overcome, to show up , to stay away & most importantly to keep STRONG, healthy boundaries. When all we truly crave is to Belong. To have a healthy family for the Holidays, to run to in times of duress, distress or happiness. To simply sit with in comfortable, companionable silence.

    As an equal opportunity Gal, & as one who knows, one of the hardest pieces, for so many additional layers of reasons, has been to forgive my Mom. Healing is happening…slowly. It is ONLY possible with the completeness I’ve found through Christ.

    That’s it.

    An ongoing Journey with other authentic, transparent Women willing to share their issues but not willing to live there ; seeking wholeness, just like you, and Him.

    Bless you Sweet Friend, Karen, & your Family this Blessed Easter. Thinking of You. Shandra

    For anyone reading who may not have seen these resources:
    When A Woman Finds Her Voice by Jo Anne Fore
    Made To Crave by Lysa Teurkerst
    and the ‘ultimate family secret’ in
    The Glass Castle by Jeannett Walls
    You are NOT alone. Shandra White Harris


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