Shandra Lee. With Heart Wide Open. A Miracle In The Making.

The Embrace – Friday Fictioneer 4/11/2014

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Word count: 107 100!

writing :flash fiction-

by Shandra White Harris

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Friday Fictioneers

Ready? GO!

copyright – DLovering

 Photo courtesy: Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

 

“What a truly lovely city”, she thought swinging her Chanel hat.

Up the cobblestone path past the shops, the cafe’s, the stalls. People turning. Looking.

Slender ankles peeked from beneath her flowing dress. High-heeled sandals clicking softly as she passed.

No hurry.

The spring in her step, the ever smiling red lips. Men envied the lucky devil she was meeting. Women always thankful she ‘was taken’.

Everything in order . Arrangements made. Mentally, she checked them off .

Reaching the top, the view of The Sea was breathtaking. Amidst the cooing doves and intertwined lovers, she fell.

Into the tangible embrace of Death.

 

 

 Until next time~Write On!

Shandra

 

 

26 Replies to “The Embrace – Friday Fictioneer 4/11/2014”

  1. Wow, I didn’t see that one coming! You did a good job of describing a setting that was beautiful and upbeat, only to have turn that feeling on its head at the end.

    Because this is a pet peeve of mine, I wondered why you capitalized “Hat” and “The Sea?” “Death” I understand because you’re using it as a name. But the others just use small letters. 🙂

    janet

    Liked by 1 person

  2. A powerful story, beautifully told. I like the way you describe her lightness, and the way others make assumptions based on how she carries herself– all of them far off the mark.

    As I was told for my story this week, I think you could have cut a few of the adjectives and come in at 100 words. I think the story would be equally strong without: truly (lovely), white (keep Chanel), white (dress), (passed) gracefully (*especially this one, as I think you’ve done a wonderful job of describing her; you don’t need gracefully), ever (smiling), soft (cooing), and high-heeled is one word. Voilá! I hope you don’t mind the suggestions… loved the story.

    Like

        1. Absolutely NO offense taken ( I aways feel the same way, truth be told). Encouragment, correction, adjustments, suggestions are always MUCH appreciated & part of the reason to link up, eh?.

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  3. Dear Shandra,

    Soft and breezy to the bitter end. One never knows what’s beneath the surface and you’ve illustrated this well.

    Note: I do echo Dawn’s (Tales from the Motherland) comments. Adjectives should be used sparingly like salt, allowing the true flavor to come out. 😉

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for the feedback Rochelle. Greatly appreciated & part of the benefit of having found your lively group! Growth &Fun! We all appreciate VERY much your continuing to Hostess, to take time to comment on most contiributions week after week and provide the creative Brilliance. Blessings! Shandra

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    1. Very astute of you! Yes, “Meanwhile back the Villa she visited every Season , her little black dress lay neatly on the double bed (perfect for a funeral) , tucked into one pocket her last communication waited to be found. “Go quietly?” “Not on your life” she’d thought as she’d dropped her Tell All book manuscript into the mail, then skipped up the cobblestone path”. Thanks for stopping by!

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  4. Very well written and intriguing, Shandra! Sorry I am playing ‘catch up’ so will have to be leaving soon to go to Cleveland to spend time with my Mom, then driving back to my son’s where my grandchildren and daughters will congregate all day! Smiles, Robin

    Like

    1. Hi Friend! So glad you stopped by to say ‘hey’ before you head off. I just returned from a family visit with Mom & Aunties. Do have a Blessed time..enjoy those moments! and thank you so much for taking time to keep in touch. Blessings in Him +, Shandra

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