Lost in painful memories, unaware tears slid down her cheeks as she gazed into the horizon. Squeezing her soft hands lightly I hid my surprise they were so cold. Whispering, gently pulling her back to now , “I would have died. What did you do?”.
She left the tenants of the round table to their business, thankful for a long holiday weekend ahead where she could be still before facing anyone anytime soon. “I don’t know how long I just sat in my car. Shock at the realization and revelation. This was never going away. This would dog her, haunt her, rear it’s head forever. I knew everyone knew. The shock was being so blindsided by what people were actually thinking. Believing… Allowed to believe.” “Then I got angry. Again.” “I decided to fight. I mean really. He started all this! How would I have known all those details and places he would be, if he hadn’t been telling me.?” “Stalker”, we both said. Suddenly I understood how stuck she truly was, without recourse. If her story was true.
Bitter bile rose. Anger came in waves. “Where was he in all this?”, I whispered.
She described her Season, as she called it, where she plotted the demise and downfall of a Dynasty. Several actually. All for her pound of flesh. “Then I got real.” her typical self-deprecating style, I was glad to see, but didn’t say so.
“Injustice has always undone me. I suffer from Overly Developed-Fair-Play Syndrome”, she said with just the hint of a smile. “Sadly, neither Life nor God play “fair”. “Let’s be clear. The analogies I use to tell the rest of my Story are NOT representative of an illicit, moral failure on my part, NOR do they suggest I agree with any of this behavior. They simply express how I felt all through this 2 year process in terms which people can hopefully relate, no matter how you feel about me..or God.”
Checking to see we were still recording…
“Naked, exposed, vulnerable like the Woman in John 8: dragged into the Town square. Mocked, judged, left to fend for herself no doubt. Where was the man? According to Mosaic Law they were both to be stoned. They must have missed Rabbi School that lesson” she scoffed, clearly still hurting from the Double standard . “In NOW time, how about Monica Lewinsky ? The male President & the Good Ole Boy Club went merrily, winking and smirking along their way”.
Was she so unaware her bitterness was showing?
She continued, “After I divorced my husband all those years ago, there were times I struggled with his & his new family’s apparent prosperity. I wanted him to S-U-F-F-E-R. Greatly. Then God graciously pulled back the curtain to reveal the extent of their small-time smoke and mirrors show. There are days I still feel he’s won in many arenas, then I remember the show ain’t over til the Fat Lady sings. And she ain’t sung yet.”
She smiled. “It’s the same way here. I wanted “him” to do the right thing. Now. I just want him to suffer.” she said. “Countless times I’ve asked, Why don’t you do something God? Expose him! Why do you let him prosper? Why do You allow this to continue?”
Silence. Had I lost her again I thought?
Suddenly, her once twinkling green eyes sparkled again momentarily. “That’s when Heaven said “What’s that to you?“.
Next The Bitter Woman I’ve Become P5 In Light of The Cross series.
This is part of a series highlighting YOUR Stories & the changes God has made through the finished work of The Cross. The ways in which strategically sharing your Story brings Kingdom Glory. This interview began in March 2013 and completed in May 2014. For obvious reasons she wishes to remain anonymous but I guarantee the story above, like the others you’ve read here, are True.
Do you have a link or website or story you’d like to include? We’d love to have you put it in the comment space below. I Guarantee someone needs to hear You’re encouraging word.
Thanks for coming by. It’s greatly appreciated.
Until next time, Be a Blessing Not a judge.
Shandra all rights reserved.