Shandra Lee. With Heart Wide Open. A Miracle In The Making.

Judge and Be Judged- My broken heart

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New International Version
For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.


“Dear Sister In Christ,

The other day you wrote from the heart on a Christian Women’s Social Site…. What Courage it took for you to step up and ask for feedback with such transparency & vulnerability.

Is it fair to say, it likely felt to you ‘all heck then broke loose’?

I am writing an open letter to let you know my remorse & deep sorrow at having played any part in creating further feelings of being judged….the comment(s) were clearly written by US collectively from our hearts as Women Who Have Gone ahead (aka ” been there experienced that” rejection/judgment piece and wanting to help).

To reset the scenario you’ve stepped up, written what we all feel/felt ‘i’ve been judged’ for being me. Truly I say we mean well. OY! The hurt & pain of rejection is universal for every Christ follower or pre Believer;every man Woman and Child. Well intentioned humans!.

Rarely do I reply in open forums but felt led that day, to respond to your pure heart’s wondering.You didn’t ask for coaching, mentoring, healing, “correction” or resources. You asked to be heard!

Please forgive me for implying I’d taken your situation too lightly, flippantly or judgmentally. NEVER!!! I hear you, your heart, your desires….to belong.

Please, Sisters…find a Christ centered place that embraces you – in all your feminine, Female, single Woman, Married-Woman-‘InAComplicatedRelationshipWoman’-SIngle-Mother-Bubbly-Joy-filled- spunkiness. You are Loved and Adored by Christ your King. (and all of us as well )

Bless you indeed.

Shandra White Harris”
This true scenario repeated daily. The new, the niave, the Seasoned seek assurance, Hope. and what do they find? Judgment. A greater sense of rejection & isolation. One response? “well You brought it on yourself, Sister.”  sure.
Does a Sister occasionally need correction, Guidance and Resources? Sure. This one? Perhaps. Perhaps not. She didn’t ask for it, though, that’s the point! Did she know she was bringing ‘anything’ on herself? Doubtful.  She asked to be heard. She asked to be seen, accepted as herself. As Christ would do.
New International Version
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.The correct response?
Always: “Love! Love! Love!” Grace.
 I confess & grieve here, she, who had already felt hurt by “Christians” sought assurance, acceptance. Anyone?
broken heart
 My zeal, added to a dozen more public comments of various degrees, compounded her sense of aloneness leading her to leave the group. A first hand lesson for ALL of US in what not to say…again…at the expense of another person. Not ok. Forgive me Lord & Dear Sister.
Please PLEASE don’t ever judge God by the unloveliness you may see in me. He loves you deeply, and even me, still.
“Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable O Lord My Rock and My Redeemer.”

You might also like to read about:

The Depth of Christ’s Love: Its Cost


You can find other Encouraging and Creative writings Here.

16 Replies to “Judge and Be Judged- My broken heart”

  1. I’m tired of hearing people judge one another yet demand not to be judged. The world is so one sided. If only we love and accept one another instead.

    Thanks for this enlightening post. Hope more people could read this.


  2. Jesus’ words to the harsh should quiet them — should quiet me, too:
    “With the judgment you pronounce, you will be judged and with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”
    May God help us to measure our words and their impact.


  3. I am a fix it for you type person, and my words often slip in where angels fear to trod. Yes, there is always some secret not shared or situation not made public, we could certainly be judged for. Our beam is often larger than the splinter in the other person’s eye. However, some secrets cannot be hidden. At church we noticed a young unmarried woman who loves God with all her heart yet she has listened to the voices of the world and to her flesh and is expecting a young one. She is not alone as others even in this church understand too well what she is feeling. It is times like these the harshest judge is one’s self. May the sweet woman who poured out her heart, realize that some comments may have been truth and truth is harder to bear than sympathy. Thank you for sharing this awesome story with us here at Tell me a Story.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hazel, you are right on. Truth even when spoken wrapped in Gods love and Grace is still a Two Edged Sword cutting through deceptions, confusion, ignorance and self-lies with Holy Spirit Conviction. Thank YOU for your voice of Reason and Wisdom and the accurate but costly example of this young lady. Grace.


  4. I’m late to the gathering, but I know a sincere and humble heart when I hear or read one. Where there is humility there is our Father. When pride is present, God is not.


  5. Good to read this kind of post. Nothing hurts more then bringing something to the table and having it smashed with words of judgement before others. We have all done the smashing, we have all be smashed by someone. Bless you for calling this out in written word. Bless you


  6. Thanks for sharing your kind words with Small Victories Sunday Linkup. It’s so important to clear the air and know that we aren’t meaning to judge others when we don’t like being judged ourselves. We need more acceptance and less judgment in this society. Pinning to our linkup board and hope you join us again this weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I didn’t witness the scenario, but I just love your heart, Shandra. It’s so true that in different stages of brokenness we all come to receive some Christian love and support, and sometimes correction is needed, but only God can tell us when to speak that to another. I love that your heart is to heal and reconcile and acknowledge her pain. Blessings on having the courage to do this on public forum. You set a beautiful example! Much love from “Espressos of Faith”!


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