Trigger warning! 🙂 If you are easily offended…you need to read this!
Beginning one thought which converge, expand, contract and contrast. A conversation here. There. What began as just another Mother’s Day blog idea rolled on, as God ideas often do.
At the end of this post (if you make it that far 😉 ) you’ll find some links that relate to singleness, marriage and ‘searching’. Because we all ,every one, crave meaningful connection. to. be. known.
God’s plan is for Community, partnership and purpose.
May I ask you dear friend, what’s your hurry? Why do you rush from one relationship to another, with barely a breath in between? From one dating site to another? Why do you pin yourself on one being, hoping s/he will fit you?
That is NOT God’s design.
Take your time to get to know people. Enjoy the company of many. If you have no same gender friends with whom you can be open, trustworthy and accountable I’m asking “why? why not?” Who do you intentionally connect with because you enjoy or learn from each other? Share your latest antic? Tell your dreams? So many of you repeat, repeat, repeat, God’s plan out-of-order. STOP!
When we come across someone who listens or fills another basic human need, we can so easily mistake that for “love’ or security. God’s plan is for those needs to be met in loving, safe, respectful design.
“Until you’re comfortable with yourself, you’ll never know if you’re choosing someone out of loneliness or love.” Mandy Hale
What really stirs your heart? How do you know about true Intimacy with other people? Until you know yourself and what you really care about? (or what really ticks you off and why) you will repeat the past. You bury or get rid of the issues without addressing them within…until you know God.
Now, if you’re still with me, onto the points!~
I haven’t read this book. Might . Might not. This is not about the book. It IS about the lines that caught my eye in the blog. “I’m so hungry for conversation with someone who knows me and is interested in me beyond a witty tweet or Facebook update. ” this is so me. ME. In a culture that is always vicariously connected, may I say ALWAYS connected but not with real relationships, am I the only one longing for depth? Seeking relationship beyond shallow? Beyond surface? Beyond anonymous? Chatting about the events of the day are well and good and necessary. The events of our LIVEs are the bread, butter (and a wee bit oh jam) to my very soul.
“I didn’t realize how much I had been needing to say, to process out loud, until someone was willing to listen without rush or deadlines.”
This is so me. I’d say without deadlines OR judgment. Too many years to count. One sided conversations? no more. No deadlines. No timeclocks. No judgments.
There’s a difference in my needs and wants from so many of yours and others. and that’s. O.K . I’ll continue to allow God to disclose my Tribes , as I hope will you. Shandra~~~~
By Lisa Jo Baker:
- If you’re hungry for meaningful friendship, try this exercise – sit down with a pen and paper or the “Notes” app on your phone and answer these questions:
- Create Space: What would it look like for you to slow down and create space for kindness and compassion in the fray of your busyness?
- Pray/Serve Someone Else: How does praying for someone, or serving them, create a meaningful bond? Who could you pray for or serve this week?
- Recognize Ordinary Heroes: Who is being your “hero” right now through their presence, prayers and kindness? Who are you being a “hero” to these days?
- Give the Gift of Imperfection: When has someone’s honesty about the imperfection of her own life been a gift of encouragement to you? How have the imperfections of your life allowed you to connect with and encourage others?
- Offer Unexpected Hospitality: How can you create space in your life for the grace of hospitality? Who can you welcome that wouldn’t be expecting it but would be blessed?
- Carry Each Others’ Pain: When has the kindness and care of someone reached out to you in the midst of a dark time? How did they reach you, and what effect did it have? What would you like to emulate from that experience for your soul friends?
- Experience God Together: Recall a time when you experienced God’s presence in a powerful way in the midst of a group or gathering of friends. How did it create oneness among you?
Now you have the makings of a practical plan for deepening a friendship. Now you have notes for how to initiate a soul friendship. Now all you need is the courage and the willingness to make the time.
It is so worth it friends – I’d forgotten what a gift time is when it comes to friendship. I’m so grateful for my own recent reminder.
Go ahead, make room in your schedule for just one of these suggestions this week – and then let me know how it goes.”
(I’m not promoting Lisa Jos book- or anyone’s book (this time!) this LLL has stacks of books to read. Do hop over to her blog though.)
None of this is new or ‘aha’ to me (or you!) and all relates as easily to men . Just a timely reawakening. We all are in search, in need or desire relationship.
Hop over to A Look at the Book, a great Bible resource blog, when you have a chance.
Do you have those friends you can just pick up with? Right where you left off? True gems. Lovely women( and a few fellas).. Happy Mothers Day (and early Father’s Day) to you My Friends. Mothers & Fathers to many- birthed, or not.
Linking here: The Social Scene