Shandra Lee. With Heart Wide Open. A Miracle In The Making.
The NEWUS dreaming in Portland 12/2014
The NEWUS dreaming in Portland 12/2014

What if? #YouCanDoIt p1

(visit again later for p 4- a shorter, gentler where are they NOW post 🙂

Life is lovely. God has shown us so many things in this relationship. Greater than we could ever have anticipated.

Amazing, wonderful right where we’re supposed to be insights. Two fighters, survivors, overcomers, realistic, compassionate, hungry for The Lord, Seekers. With much more in common than one would ever realize.

What if it’s not, for Us,  fear, or entitlement or immaturity or (fill in your blank) as some love to suggest? :

In the Old Days men understood  proving their value as a partner. Women expected to be wooed. 

Too many of today’s men run at commitment. Shirk manning up. Don’t care to nurture relationships…God’s way.

Few men I’ve dated or hung out with in my 10 years as a Successful Solo have had the stamina to step up..

before I lost interest. Too late!

preferring I step up. if I’d been willing.

Not a chance. 

I expect to be wooed.

Can you prove you know the value of This Woman?

What if it’s NOT really fear at all. 😉

What if it’s Confidence. Confidence in knowing I can take care of & support myself?

Confidence to know that God’s Plan is a Real Man who recognizes, wants & will take care of me & allow me to reciprocate.

 I’m willing to wait or go it Solo because I’m Confident that I know who I Am and whose I am.

What if?

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous.

At times, pushing back at a very good man who, it turns out, loves me and shows me daily.

He’s proven it to me (and all the doubting naysayers, if that matters).

I’ve put this man through the paces.

To prove himself above all others.

At points when other men who have shown interest, denied, choosing never to correct -take responsibility, turned away, to hide and/or I lost interest,  he has stepped up.

Being a Christian doesn’t change what you deal with.

imafe and quote via Amanda @ #RevivalWarriors
image and quote via Amanda @ #RevivalWarriors

It changes how you deal with it.

I pose to you in this worldly culture of hurry up relationships, debt as a lifestyle, disrespect and dishonor:

FEAR has no place in any mature HEALTHY adult relationship. Fears of feeling undermined, uncertain, misused or manipulated.

FEAR of being ‘stuck’. Trapped. No way out. Hurried or harried.

Fear things will never change.

Fear for one’s future or safety. Disrespected. Dishonored.

We’ve both been there.  Never again.

Do not ignore red flags, ‘crazy’ cycles, debt, depression or ‘someday promises’, Friends! Build healthy wholesome, deeply connected relationships~


Confront them! With Love & Grace.

The wounds you hold close, My Friends? The ones that drive you….with doubt. with guilt. with perfection. with never good enough….let. them. go.

Where The Lord is the Spirit, and there is the Freedom!

#TrustMe #YouCanDoIt

As our conversations deepen we’ve play:

Can you NAME that Fear?

  • *ONE or BOTH of us won’t measure up.
  • *ONE or BOTH of us aren’t hearing GOD correctly.
  • *One  or BOTH of us will feel “tricked”.
  • *ONE or BOTH of us will be disappointed.

The FEAR of (fill in your own) REJECTION, ABANDONMENT, BETRAYAL, Further Loss?: 

Yet here we are:

He’s had 10 months at this July writing, to see all my wrinkles, cracks, broken & sharp edges.

As well as experiencing my soft, feminine, nurturing, caring, adventuresome, balanced Confident self.

As have I, his. (Masculine not feminine 🙂 )


P 3 Coming right !

Shandra 🙂

The Social Scene

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